By: Diana Sánchez (Translated by Allison Párraga)
When we feel overwhelmed by a lack of love and attention, it is often advised that we step aside for a moment and distance ourselves from the issue. This is the subject we addressed in “Conversando con tu Vecindad”. It is essential that we not ask ourselves too many questions when we are the ones who must take the first step:
What is going to happen to me? Would it be better to leave him/her?
It is important to recognize that a decision rooted in the pain of indifference is never an easy one to take. We are often guided by thoughts of uncertainty and we feel selfish by putting our needs ahead of those of what was once a loving relationship.
The need to let go often comes about from having said goodbye or from unburdening yourself of someone or something. But when you know that a relationship doesn’t work, that even when you love someone he/she does not make you happy, then you must separate yourself from what is hurting you.
It is a unilateral decision, that is to say that everything depends on oneself to be happy and to take the initiative toward a new life. Demonstrating that you are worth much more and that setting limits are life lessons to improve inner peace and improve our quality of life.
TALKING ABOUT WHAT BOTHERS US
By always expressing ourselves honestly and openly about our feelings, we make our message clear about a romantic breakup.
We cannot blame the failure of the relationship on anyone or bring up past events as that only leads to inescapable vicious circles. It is better to have good memories and not create negative feelings that are capable of leaving scars that could be painful for everyone involved, even for us.
TIME IS THE BEST MEDICINE
We must accept the loss, endure the mourning of the relationship and re-adapt to a new lifestyle. It is not always easy to live with the pain of our decision, but as our grandparents say, “time heals all wounds”. It is good to know that all of the energy that comes from our feelings now will be transformed into something that will later give us vitality and meaning to our lives.
This will be achieved by becoming interested in activities that can enrich our thoughts and by enjoying the development of new plans. By growing emotionally and by focusing on a single objective which is to be happy. By feeling complete without having to depend on a partner, and by possibly in the future having a new romantic relationship that is healthy and positive and mutually beneficial.
This is how we learn and grow in life. Stumbling makes us wiser and more resilient.