Living without Violence

Pearl of Inspiration

Living without Violence

By: Jaime Mejía P. (Translated by Susan Brand)

Inside the box

When we are immersed in everyday situations, we cannot see beyond them, precisely because we are focused on things in the house:  internal problems, what we need at that moment, what happens to us, and where the current takes us in the day to day. So many things are in our mind that we do not take account of the real circumstance that is happening in our life.  We do not see the existing problem because we are inside the survival box, without realizing that it is consuming us and extinguishing our dreams. 

This is precisely what happens when we are immersed in cycles of violence.

Life Should Not Be Like This

Many think that violence happens for a reason.  Others think it is their fault.  Some believe that it is part of a stage.  Still others assume that life is like this.  So many thoughts creep in that we cannot get out of our head, and at some point, we definitely realize that: No, this is not so. This is not as it should be, and this is not a stage.  It should not be part of my life.

There are stages within the Cycles of Violence that are recognizable once we learn them.  The worst stage of them all is the “Idealization or Honeymoon” stage, in which the aggressor repents and says they are sorry with sweet words or gifts, promising not to act that way again.  The victim apologizes for any offense, humiliation, or blow suffered in order to keep the relationship “intact”, hoping to keep it as it was in the beginning when we were on the wings of infatuation or love.  In doing so, the victim nullifies any type of legitimate complaint.

Out the box

Remember that you are not alone.  Talk to your family or a trusted friend.  They are out of the box and can give you help, advice, and insights that will light your way forward.  

But you, and only you, are the one who must make the decision that fear will not invade your heart – or your home.  Living with fear is not healthy and living with violence is not only unhealthy.  It can also be deadly.  It can, and all too often does – go too far.

If you are in the middle of violence, try to raise your head up and take in a breath of pure air.  Go outside of your old thoughts and look for possible alternatives to the ocean of evils you have been enduring.  Outside, there is the possibility of a better life, of a better future for you, for your children, and for your families.

It is time to step out of the box and enjoy a future of love and tranquility with someone who wants the same thing – and lives their sweet words.

“Pearls of Inspiration” are insights and topics that arise from our Ecuadorian neighborhood dialogue circles that are taking place, virtually through

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If you speak Spanish, we hope you will join us!  All are welcome.

In the future, we hope to offer dialog circles in English.  Follow this space.

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