By: David Vera (Translated by Allison Párraga)
Every woman, whether she is a mother or not, has the power to change the world
The transformation occurs throughout pregnancy, childbirth and the postpartum stage; it brings with it strength and confidence in all areas.
It is the woman’s choice whether to invite others to share in her pregnancy, to give birth as she sees fit and to choose how to raise her baby.
It is the embodiment of sentiments such as “I can do it”, “I am capable”, and “I am happy doing it”..
Commonly, however, from the moment a woman reveals her pregnancy she becomes the target of advice and value judgments from friends and family.
Some of the most common phrases are:
“You’re not getting it right”
“Better leave it to me”,
“It takes a long time to put the diaper on, look how I do it”,
“I’m going to call my mother to come to help you with the baby.”
What all of these comments elicit is decreased confidence is her role as a mother and retard the development of her empowerment.
Many of these critiques from others cause mothers to question their ability to care for their children and generate self-doubt in the form of thoughts such as: “I am a bad mother”, “I wasn’t born for this” and “Am I doing it right?”
The lack of confidence that such comments cause in mothers presents itself as doubt that things won’t turn out well or believing what other people say may be right, often without any basis in truth.
A strengthening develops during this process in which the mother herself resolves doubt and justifies her decisions. Because this is how life itself unfolds, it is something to live to the fullest and to take maximum advantage of.
HOW TO AVOID THIS
It is vitally important that women know that they are responsible for their health, their well-being, and for making decisions that they deem appropriate, while feeling happy and at ease.
Accepting, respecting and supporting what a mother decides is one of the best actions of social empowerment that we can practice.
Be conscious of her needs, what makes her happy and how to guide her toward overall contentment.
Support her with positive language to boost confidence in herself and to provide her with the tools needed to navigate her environment when self-doubt arises.
Remember that they can decide on their body, their affairs and have the capacity to resolve them; They are free to choose and to make the decisions that they deem appropriate for their benefit or that of their child.
HOW TO HELP A MOTHER: LISTEN, SUPPORT AND BE BY HER SIDE
Mothers can express their opinion and their discomfort in an assertive way, they can say “NO” to requests or offers of help that may make them uncomfortable.
We need to understand the different points of view that she has and recognize her struggle for self-worth. It is the role and obligation of every member of society to support and listen to mothers, without judgment and from a position of respect. These are key points for strengthening their work as mothers.
By the same token, a mother is capable of facing and analyzing all types of advice and suggestions, of deciding whether such comments are valid or not and applying her own criteria as necessary.
In conclusion, a mother is a person well informed of her needs, is self-confident and perceives herself to be an individual capable of making her own decision about vital issues with the objective of being herself and being happy.
Strive to be an empowered woman!